Since I’ve embarked on this journey, my mind, my senses, my spirit have been exposed and challenged on a daily basis. Last night was one of those ‘REALLY?’ times.
A couple of days ago I contacted a man. At first I was intimidated by his profile. This was one of those men who has tried everything: movie production, record label executive, chamber orchestra singer, traveled all over the planet trying to enlighten us poor souls to higher spheres of consciousness, etc., etc. I didn’t think anyone like him would be interested in a mere mortal like me. But his choice of books, music, movies were very similar to mine. Thus encouraged, I sent him a message informing him of this. And lo and behold, the gods answered! I immediately got a message on the ‘Message’ area of the site. We started typing. I was too fast for him and the questions/answers were not synchronized. He suggested that we wait for the other’s response before jumping into another question. I told him patience was not one of my better qualities but I will try (are you supposed to say things like this? After all, I was not showing myself in the best light…). I kept my side of the bargain and he didn’t. I told him that he was not following his own rule…. Which of course he ignored. (Mistake number one.)
After pinging and ponging for over an hour, he suggested we progress to Skype (“Let’s go from digital to analog”. Who says things like this in real life?) Meanwhile I had been busily steering clients, loading the dishwasher/washing machine, answering question. Now I had to stop all this and concentrate on looking demure, intelligent, sophisticated AND attractive. He was totally disheveled after having dropped his son at the airport that morning. He commented on my lipstick saying he was honored that I had put it on for him (are they all this conceited???) I set him right on that score. We agreed to talk later in the day which we did. He had a dry sense of humor. Forwarded me his website. (Mistake number two. BIG mistake. You’ll see why.)
I called a long time close friend of mine who is in the same field as him and told her about my meeting him and sent her his link, thinking she might have heard of him. She replied immediately saying: “NO! NO! NO! NO! He is AWFUL! I would continue your search elsewhere. I imagine you would end up killing him. I know there is someone much much better out there for you! Believe me- I have saved you from a disaster!” WELL! You can imagine how surprised I was. Not only she knew him, she couldn’t stand him. What a small world! (I bet if we combine our friends and ask them about people we don’t know, we would never be misled and will save ourselves so much heartache.)
Not the best recommendation, don’t you think? So today I have a ‘date’ with him on Skype and am not sure what I’m going to say to him. “Excuse me, I can’t continue this because you are a —-, ——–, ——-, and my friend says —–, ——, ——.” Isn’t it amazing how things completely turn around? Two days ago I thought I was not worthy of him and today I have to summon my most tactful approach and let him know this is going nowhere. Or just friendship, or —-. All of us should take heart. Surface is not the same as essence. Mind is not the same as soul.
I’ll keep you posted as to our next ‘meeting’ which I am truly dreading. A moral dilemma: he himself has done nothing to me to warrant this response of mine, but if a longtime trusted friend sends me a message like that, I have to take heed. And dear R, thanks a lot for the timely alert.
In a previous blog I had responded to a friend’s comment re Multi-Amorousness, one of my responses being that we are so lucky that we live in countries where we do not get stoned, flogged for our choices . I just want to add that there are people out there who like to get stoned and flogged. For pleasure. A choice.